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10 Ways To Guarantee You Never Get That Second Date

In the early aughts, there was a funny… pretty funny … mildly funny romantic comedy titled How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.

Essentially Kate Hudson goes to great lengths to have Matthew McConaughey to break up with her.

With that silly premise in mind, we thought it might be fun to go over the surefire ways to not get a second date.

Of course, there is the obvious, talk about your ex-girlfriends ad nauseam and don't offer to pick up the bill, yada, yada, yada.

HOW TO RUIN YOUR CHANCES FOR A SECOND DATE

Here are some lesser-known, and sadly more common methods to help you completely miss your chance on a second date and basically send her running…

1.) drool over her. BONUS IF YOU ADD A SLOW CREEPY STARE

It should go without saying, women don't enjoy feeling like a piece of meat.

So if you're looking to shoot yourself in the foot, remark about her looks constantly. Like every opportunity.

Maybe even try some hand-grabbing thigh action, to show you’re trying to come on too strongly.

A dating article on E-harmony states that you should limit physical compliments to just one single/simple "You look great tonight."

To completely take a second date off the table, you should avoid reading the room. So, if she tells you a story that merits more than one compliment, make sure to appear completely uninterested.

2.) IGNORE YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA PRESENCE

Are you sitting down for this? Yes. You will be Googled before your next date.

Does your internet presence match what you are trying to demonstrate to that special girl?

To give your second date worse odds than a Powerball ticket, you should definitely leave all hard-partying pics visible and public on all of your social media apps.

3.) ACT BORED

To blow up the second date, you definitely don’t want to tell her you’re having a great time on the date. Instead, act aloof. Think the nihilists from Big Lebowski.

4.) Don't be nice

A dating article on AskMen.com states how important it is to be nice to everyone you encounter during the date.

While this may seem obvious, maybe it can be hard to remember common manners and decency because you’re so transfixed on your date? Maybe?

So, to torpedo your second date, definitely be a d*** to the server, bartender, valet, etc. Go ahead and raise your voice and be super opinionated as well. Oh, and forget tipping while you’re at it.

Bonus torpedo: Only eat with your hands and use your clothing to wipe your face and nose.

5.) CALL AND TEXT MULTIPLE TIMES. INCESSANTLY

The follow-up communication can seem more fraught for disaster than Frodo thinking he’s just going on a simple hike.

You shouldn’t abide by all and never rules, but a general guideline to blow up your second date would definitely be to call/text way more (and faster) than your date.

Conversely, waiting too long can have the same negative consequences.

To accelerate your crash and burn, you might as well go and send her your d**** pics.

6.) Don't ask questions

A good conversationalist, counterintuitively, is someone who asks a lot of interesting questions.

According to Leil Lowndes in her book “How to Talk to Anyone,” if you shine the spotlight on your date, they’ll like be impressed with your conversation skills.

So, to never get the second date, only focus on yourself.

7.) Have an arsenal of odd and inappropriate things to talk about

Here’s a good list of "no-k" conversation topics that will have her toes curling; and not in the good way:

  • Ex's

  • Medical conditions

  • You, yourself, and you

  • Family drama

  • Sexual Preferences

  • Money

  • Your future together

  • Negative stuff

  • Low self esteem remarks

You can read the full article here if you want to get the low down on all of these awkward topics.

8.) SHARE YOUR LOVE OF NOT HAVING A JOB

By leaning into not having a job, you might kill your second date chances faster than teens in a slasher film.

And while you’re at, you could share any lack of bank account funds.

This is the part of the date where she finds out if you are worth her time.

"What is your job like?" Or "What do you do for a living?" is bound to come up.

Know how to deal with these questions appropriately.

9.) SHARE THAT STORY HOW you accidentally killed a bird with a rock THAT ONE TIME ...

This first date is a prime opportunity for the girl to get the gist of you and gauge whether or not you are someone who collects animal skulls or might be featured in a Silence of the Lambs sequel…

In short, if you’re trying to avoid another date, don’t hold back on your raunchy jokes or stories of animal cruelty, even if it was an accident.

Maybe she is the kind of girl who likes raunchy jokes or wacky ties. But save that for date two and slowly test the waters.

If you are 100 into ruining this thing, here is a website with hundreds of crazy ties that are guaranteed to get her eyes wide...with fear. 

10.) GO AHEAD AND GET WASTED

Yeah, you love to party and have a good time. Who doesn't? Time to get out your drinking caps and have a drink. Or eight. 

Without needing a second date, feel free to make a fool of yourself.

First dates are crucial because it’s time to be the best version of yourself.

If things get too silly and weird, shell definitely be too embarrassed or freaked out to want to go on that next date. 

So now what? 

While there are certainly more things you can attempt to do that will destroy any opportunity for a second date, these above methods seem to work the quickest.

Now you have ten different ways to wreck an evening with someone.

If you still need inspiration, here’s a Cosmo article on first date disasters that will give you a ton more creative ideas. Have fun out there!

 If you'd like to improve your dating profile description and attract more dates, check out how to get Date Verified and run a dating background check on yourself to date more.

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